mood: fuck
listening to: my beautiful brain
reading: Dolmistaska
watching: nothing
playing: Plants vs Zombies
eating: Coffee
drinking: Coffee

Once upon a time, there was a man who had the gift to craft whatever he desired. He sold or gave away many of these creations; what he was soon to realize however, is that they would come alive and do the opposite of what they were created for, attacking and terrifying their owners. So he reasoned, if he made a monster, it would become the opposite and defeat his failed creations. Years later, a girl that can see ghosts re-discovers this anti-monster in a basement--the dummy.

I read a lot of comics, but none have been food for my soul quite as this one. It's not groundbreaking exactly but it is sweet, perhaps in a way I wouldn't have fully appreciated a few years ago, and Paris, the dummy (or puppet as he prefers to call humself), has quickly become my favorite character right next to Ena.

It is a common trope to have characters with a tragic past find ultimate healing or fufillment through romance, which can make for a compelling story, but I don't like the idea that romance is inherently fufilling, and as far as found family, I guess I just I just don't gravitate towards the kinds of stories that tend to have it. Dummy's Dummy is refreshing in this sense then, that the main character does not persevere because of promises of romance, but rather, that he sees a being so much more vunerable than him that looks up to him, despite being, well, the way he is mentally, and determines not to let her down. I think Paris realizes that however HE feels about himself--it won't change the reality that Yumi still loves him. She is still scared. And he decides to, for lack of more delicate terms, get over it and be there for her.

The funny thing I've noticed though, is it's often Paris that needs help throughout the story. Yumi gets in trouble quite a few times, yes, but ususually it's BECAUSE she's helping him or someone else. Is this like, a flaw? I don't know, I think it's kind of subjective. In real life, would I let a child be these kind of situations? Like, maybe! I mean she can see ghosts, but I can't, so she's definitely got the upper hand there. Does this make me a terrible person? VERY subjective! Ultimately I think it depends on the author's intentions, which I'm not sure about. Aside from the life threatening aspects though, I really appreciate how much respect is given to Yumi as a person, not because of her powers, or some hidden genius or some shit, but just as Yumi. I feel often stories centering children unintentionally tend to carry this message that, you'll gain respect once everyone realizes you're special, when in reality you should already get respect just for being a human fucking being. Yumi is already respected and loved before anyone learns of her ability to see ghosts.

There is sort a theme of self realization and going against your peers from Paris' perspective, but it's kind of...different from the way this trope is usually played? Paris doesn't particularly have a desire to see the world or go against the grain, it's not even that his creator views his actions by themself as wrong. The way he's misunderstood is a little more subtle than that. The creator fears the the free will of his creation. Often the message here would be ~staying true to yourself~ or whatever, and like, yeah, but we can go a step further than that. While I generally chose to view Dummy's Dummy through a more literal lense, I think you could also read Paris' backstory as a metaphor for the paranoia people often have of someone lower than them on the social ladder, coming to their level and subjugating them. It's okay to love someone beneath you from a distance, but god forbid you find out they have an equal ability to have complex throughts and move through the world as you do.

I said in the beginning that I don't think Dummy's Dummy is groundbreaking. This is still true; But's its an honest and down to earth view of the difficulties being a person, and that's what I love most about it. Besides the narrative aspect, I admire the amount of deatil put into the reboot's artwork, and I look forward to seeing more from mochamura.

While a lot of people find Paris attractive, I'm simply envious of his beauty and style. Makes me want to throw out my entire wardrobe and start over.

6/6/25

Dear person on the other side of the conversation:

I have just reciprocated the question you asked me earlier to avoid talking about myself too much. I am trying to connect and get to know you. Your task is not give me the shortest possible answer, making me feel like my only purpose in your presence is to entertain you and confused as to whether I should keep talking or not. Help me out a little for god's sake

Signed, your very confused oomf

5/25/25

Dream BBQ has two components to it which have defined much of my taste in media, that being, a split character and a surreal world. In this game you play as Ena, a character with two personalities, represented by a rather on-the-nose physical color split, whose main task is to "find the boss". Being an aventure game with only minor platform and puzzle elements, I feel its stength lies in atmosphere above all else, perfectly balancing relatability of the characters with chaos of the world.

Before Dream BBQ, Ena was already traversing strange low poly landscapes with her pal Moony in an untitled video Series by Joel G. His inspiration for her design came from the painting "Girl Before A Mirror" By Pablo Picasso and the art of Romero Britto, so it's no surprise Dream BBQ is reminicient of a surreal painting you've been sucked into.

(Read more)

All in all, it's been a long time since any piece of media appealed to me this strongly, I think it's a surreal masterpiece, and I strongly look forward to seeing where the next chapters lead us to.

5/17/25

I watched Death Parade a while back so this review is a bit late in coming, but what compelled me to write it now is that I've been listening to the outro song a lot. It's absolutely beautiful. Despite this though, I didn't vibe with the actual show that much? The parts that were good were REALLY good and the rest hovered right on the line of mediocre. Death Parade is a bit corny for my tastes, but it's not bad and I think the overall message is that you can't sort people into the categories of "deserving hapiness" and "not", specifically in a spriritual sense, which is something I always enjoy no matter how times I've seen it.

(Read more)

Overall, I did enjoy Death Parade, just felt it fell flat in some areas.

4/3/25

After reading about lots of gmail alternatives I have come to the conclusion that the best one out there is Gofuck.Yourself. It's not adequate, but Gofuck.Yourself is completely ad free, donation funded, provides absolutely 0 services, and takes 0 seconds to sign up for. Mouth to rectum encryption. Privacy policies. No data. Gofuck.Yourself. Sign up for Gofuck.Yourself now. Do it. Do it. Do it.

2/14/2025

If you're chronically online enough in the right spaces like I am you probably know there's been a resurgance of aesthetics from the early 2000's, aka, "y2k" (and also webcore to some extent). There's nothing wrong with these styles but the extent to which this romantisciztion has gone is getting a bit out of hand. I understand that everything is terrible right now. I don't fault you for seeking escapism. But pretending you live in another era won't fix it.

There was something this guy said, "I can't stand people who are stuck in the past and can't make something of themselves in the present" and it pissed me off at first because he was kind of dunking on 2000s fashion but I think I get where he's coming from now. The 2000s were not a good time for queer people or at least not from my perspective, and lgbt people romanticizing y2k as a whole always makes me kind of uneasy. Again, I'm not just talking about using mp3s and cutting your bangs ~like that~, I mean fully believing earlier times were superior to this one. Though I don't know much about what it would be like to live in the late 1900s it also applies there. Imagine being in that year for a little while if you must, but be honest about the fact that every era came with its downsides, and simply being in another year wouldn't necessarily save you. We should be trying to fix the present, not regress to the past.

1/2/2025

Call me crazy but Summer is begining to be my favorite season. The trees fill out and their leaves mature into a dark green, the cicada and crickets are louder than ever, and the AIR smells so damn good. I've come to the conclusion Summer is underated, but there's no helping that. 6/4/25

I've started a bit of an expiremental discord server, for sharing photography, various art-forms, and niche interests. Link: https://discord.gg/kPtR2Mmw

Anonymous drawing board: https://draw.y99.in/boards/yellow11

You remember when that "raw-dogging flight" trend? Yeah well I'm doing doing something called "raw-dogging editing", which is when I decide I'm just so fucking done with re-writing this thing. - 5/17/25

I largely prefer flat and square digital aesthetics, so it sucks there's not a lot of that on computers and the net these days. Everything is made to look bald and shiny. No! I want my manila evelopes. - 5/15/25

I genuinely think it would be a fun twist on the "feeling emotion for the first time" trope if said emotion was like, cringe or annoyance. Might use that idea one day. 4/3/25

EVERYTHING IS SLOP. VIDEOS ARE SLOP. POSTS ARE SLOP. YOU'RE SLOP. THIS'S WHY THE WORLD MUST BURN.

9/29/24